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My (29) girlfriend (29) and I have been together for 10 months, she has a son from a previous relationship (father is not involved )who is 5 years old.
For the past 3 months we have been arguing a lot about money. When we first started dating I made a lot more than her, I made a $112k a year and she made $40k a year so in our relationship therefore I paid for the vast majority of the expenses and I encouraged her to use the money she saved to pay off her debt and I even help pay off her debt.
Our relationship got much worse after I helped her out with her career. One of my cousins is high up in the state government and got her a nice job at a contractor to the state government. Her salary went up to 78k a year and she is able to work from home as well.
My girlfriend started using her new money to just buy a lot of luxury items, every time I would come to her apartment, she would have boxes. She spent a ton of money on clothes for her son. I was like okay sure celebrate for a little bit then but let’s get back to responsible budgeting. However, her spending habits got worse she took her new salary to get new credit cards and then also started buying stuff on Affirm and Klarna.
We argued a lot about this like and I decided to just give up on this that I was going to stop giving her advice on money unless she explicitly asks. But the problem is she wants me to still pay for everything like I did when she made 40k a year. She wants me to drive her car so I can pay for her gas when we do stuff together, says I should take her and her son on vacation (pay for it all as well). For her sons birthday she had me buy him a PS5 then said it was from the both of us.
We got into a big fight and I told her that now that she makes more money, I was going to be spending less money on her. She then flips out and says that she could get any guy she wants, and she wouldn’t have even dated a guy like me if she didn’t have a kid. I asked her what she meant by a guy like me, and she is like the guys I dated before you were tall, jacked, had tats, the guy other girls all wanted them. She said I should feel lucky that she even gave me a chance.
I told her I don’t know what delusions you have, I seen your old photos yeah you were the “hot girl” in your early 20s but no one is looking at you now thinking you are that anymore. You are about to be 30, you are 30lbs heavier ( thought it was closer to 40 but didn’t want to be mean) and look like a mom. Sorry to tell you but no one is looking at us thinking damn how did that guy get that girl.
Well you can imagine how well this went. She kicked me out of her apartment and told me to kms. I know what I said was a lot, but I didn’t want this whole tone to be in the relationship that oh, I have to keep buying her stuff because I am the unattractive person in the relationship. And that I should feel blessed she is even with me.
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