For background, I’m 28F and I had an extramarital affair. My husband and I were having some issues. He was unfaithful and we were not living in the same house. I was angry at him. And just felt completely numb and betrayed. Then one day , I met a man. 26M he was nice and really funny. Let’s call him Corin.We went out for drinks and one thing led to any other and we had a one night stand, and we had the most disappointing sex ever. I felt even worse. I meant to go to the pharmacy and get the morning after pill but couldn’t as I found out my grandmother was in the hospital. Then I eventually forgot about the whole thing. Fast forward 3.5 months. My husband and I started to work things out in therapy. I told him about the affair and we moved on. Our marriage had been stronger and happier. We were enjoying raising our son. And then I found out I was pregnant. The timing coincides with my affair with Corin. I contacted him and notified him after I told my husband. He gave me $500 to have an abortion and gave me a bunch of research about having children by different fathers and scheduled an appointment at the clinic. Said he wasn’t ready to be a father and to get rid of it. My husband being the great guy that he is supported me in whatever I wanted to do and offered to raise the baby.
I couldn’t bring myself to have an abortion. And kept the baby. He had blocked me on all platforms and I never knew where he lived. I kept all the communication saved.
Now my daughter is 2 years old. I bumped into him at the grocery store. He saw my daughter and is now wanting contact. He said that the baby looks like him and is very upset that she exists. I haven’t confirmed or denied anything. I have been silent. I feel like such an A-hole.
I wanted to give more context. My husband and I were not living in the same home for 2 months before the affair. We were essentially separated.
I also want to clarify that I DO NOT want child support. I HAVE NEVER WANTED and I DONT NEED IT. I never lied to my husband about the affair. And I tried to do the right thing and notified Corin. We met went for coffee and he took $500 for the abortion. He made the appointment, and mentioned how he didn’t want to be a father and he didn’t want his family to find out about a child out of wedlock . At this point I had known the sex of the baby and told him. He sent me several texts and voicemails telling me I needed to terminate. I went to the appointment and I couldn’t bring myself to end my baby’s life. I essentially ran out. I tried to call him , and he had blocked me on every platform. I tried calling from different numbers, nothing. I eventually got the hint. My husband and I were friends and we both made terrible mistakes. We own that. I never asked him to sign the birth certificate, he made that choice and has been the best father. I did not tell Corin about the the paternity when I saw him again, until I had spoken to a lawyer. And with how he reacted when he saw her , it was anger, almost violent. I am not letting my daughter anywhere near that temper. He only wants her because his parents don’t have any grandchildren. The messages never state he wants to bond or interact. It always states the grandparents want to meet her. Until everything is solved in court , I am not going to issue contact. My husband signed the birth certificate.
He is her Father.
I would have gladly returned his money if I knew where he was at the time. So there’s that. I only made this post as a way to vent. At this point my daughter is the most important person. And her well-being is and will be priority.
Yes, we all suck. But I am trying here.