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[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/15e5zqb/i_26f_caught_my_34m_husband_texting_a_minor_i_am/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
First, I want to thank everyone for the support and advice they gave. Like I said in my previous post, I just fell asleep during the car ride and told him I felt sick. We were heading to my parents house and I really wanted to be by them.
However, within 45 minutes my husband woke me up and told me he found a nearby hotel for us to stay in. He said he was worried about me and wanted me to rest in a real bed he also bought medicine for me. At this point I was freaking out because know I was in an unfamiliar area and he was being extra clingy. Once we got in the room and we laid down he kept cuddling me and giving me kisses. It made me feel sick and so I left to go to the bathroom.
I stayed in the bathroom for about an hour. I scrolled through everyones comments and kept pacing myself about what to do. I knew my husband was growing concerned because he kept checking on me. After I left the bathroom he looked so worried and I just needed to let everything out.
I know the number one advice given was not to confront him, and I know it probably was a horrible move, but I couldn’t take it. I told him I found his messages on instagram.
He immediately started apologizing and saying he wanted to tell me sooner but couldn’t find the time. He was apologizing but not as intensely as what he could have done. So I confronted him about that and said “what a lousy apology coming from a pedophile.”
He immediately went silent. It was probably silent for about 6 minutes when he broke it and asked what I was referring too. I told him and he looked so hurt. He took a deep breath and explained everything.
He said the person I looked through his messages with was his 15 year old daughter, Sarah. He explained that she reached out to him a year ago on Facebook and ever since then was trying to connect with her. He said within 6 months he confirmed he was the father, met up with her bunch of times, and truly formed a strong connection with her. However, 6 months ago we got married and he didn’t want to stress me out with that news, as well as his daughter not being ready to face others. He also explained that when he was 18 he had an on and off relationship with a Sarah’s mom when one day she just up and ghosted him forever. According to Sarah her mom is also strict, which is why the message on instagram to avoid her mom finding out right now.
My mind was spiraling and I knew he knew that. He then placed his phone into my hand and let me scroll farther. Upon scrolling I found her referring to him as dad and she sent him a happy fathers day awhile back as well. He even said he would to another DNA test to prove it to me.
I immediately felt guilty. I feel guilty that my immediate mind took innocent texts and turned them inappropriate. and I felt guilty that I saw my husband in that way. I kept apologizing to him about the accusation. However, my husband just apologized and said he understood my point of view and told me it wasn’t my fault. I kept trying to tell him I was sorry and he kept saying it was okay. I can see the look in his eyes though and I can see how hurt he really is. He said we should both just get some sleep and talk more later.
To be honest I can’t fall asleep as I feel just disgusted with myself. About his whole secret daughter it doesn’t bother me so much (maybe bc its miles better than the alternative). But I understand the situation and am happy for my husband because he wants kids desperately but we have decided to wait two years to grow our marriage. I feel as if right now I flushed everything down the drain and have no clue how to make things better.
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